Bridging the Divided

Forgive Yourself

A few people I know beat themselves up in the wee hours of the night for past transgressions, for things they should have done better, the list is endless. I get it. Past transgressions and things I wished I had done better or differently often hit me out of the blue and transform an otherwise okay kind of day into a day of self-loathing. Why do we do that to ourselves?

The thing about the past is that it is firmly rooted in the past. There is nothing, and I mean nothing, we can do about the past. We cannot, no matter how hard we try, change the outcome. If we could, many would sleep a lot easier at night. 

What can we do? We can forgive ourselves. Sounds easy enough but for many, forgiving ourselves is one of the hardest tasks we could undertake. We are more likely to forgive the transgressions of others far sooner than we will forgive ourselves. 

I believe we are allotted a certain number of days on planet earth. How we spend the second, minutes, hours, days, months, and years are left up to us. We choose – some call it free will. When we waste time beating ourselves up over things we cannot change we are cutting short the time we have on planet earth to live, learn, and love.

If we are spending time reliving past transgressions or those things we could have done differently to punish ourselves for what we cannot change, we need to stop! We are humans. We are beings on a journey of learning. We are messy and we make mistakes. We need to own our past. And then we ask ourselves what we learned from the mistakes, the transgressions? Taking ownership and learning from our pasts are the keys to forgiving ourselves. Taking these two important steps puts us on the path to forgiving ourselves and living free from the guilt of past mistakes and transgressions that cannot be changed…..

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