My son, his girlfriend, my daughter and her fiance, her family, and I will land in Florida soon. I will be officiating at their wedding. Only a few will be present on the beach at sunset to witness the joining of two spirits, two lives. My daughter and her lovely soon-to-be wife, are gay. 

Each of us is a spirit, living in a body, and having a life experience. According to the Bible, our spirits are neither male nor female. We were created in the image of God, of Divine Love, who is neither male nor female. When God looks at us, God does not see male or female. God only sees the spirit, the spirit of love residing within us. We, however, look at and judge the packages others are wrapped in; in other words, the flesh. 

For those of us whose children are gay, we get it. Many do not want to accept the fact that not all people are heterosexual. “I don’t believe in it” is a common refrain. I can say I don’t believe in polar bears, but polar bears exist nonetheless. We have also heard God didn’t make Adam and Steve, and while that may be true, the argument does not hold water. Oddly, or maybe not so oddly, it is Christians who are quick to judge and spill forth their opinions and interpretations of the Bible. Doesn’t the Bible say we are not to judge? 

The older I get the more meaningful I Corinthians 13 becomes. I am an ordained minister and often use it in wedding ceremonies. Some call I Corinthians 13 the love chapter and indeed it is:

“I may speak in the tongues of men, even angels;

but if I lack love, I have become merely

blaring brass or a cymbal clanging.

I may have the gift of prophecy,

I may fathom all mysteries, know all things,

have all faith — enough to move mountains;

but if I lack love, I am nothing.

I may give away everything that I own,

I may even hand over my body to be burned;

but if I lack love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient and kind, not jealous, not boastful, 

not proud, rude or selfish, not easily angered,

and it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not gloat over other people’s sins

but takes its delight in the truth.

Love always bears up, always trusts,

always hopes, always endures.”

Love is not an emotion. Love is an action. I Corinthians 13 tells us about the act of love. If we cannot love, we are noise. If we are brilliant but do not love, we are nothing. If we sacrifice all but do not

love, our sacrifice is in vain. I Corinthians 13 tells us what love is: love is kind, patient, is not rude, selfish, or easily angered. Love does not keep a journal of wrongs. Love stands in the face of adversity and endures.

What many tend to forget is that parents love their gay children and do not appreciate callous opinions about their children’s sexual orientation. When we make callous statements about the sexual orientation of others we are focusing on one aspect of their entire being – their sexual orientation. People are not one-dimensional creatures. We are multi-faceted, complex beings who experience feelings and emotions. We are beings who can think and reason. We are beings who can choose whether or not to love.

Standing on the outside looking in and spilling their opinions on others, people often say those who are attracted to the same sex are choosing a lifestyle contrary to societal norms. Do heterosexuals choose to be heterosexuals? I didn’t. My heterosexuality is a small part of who I am as an entire complex being. The argument that gay individuals choose their sexual orientation is as stupid as saying some choose to be born male or female, to be born with blue eyes, green or brown eyes, to be born blind, deaf or disabled, etc. The reason people believe gay individuals choose to be gay is that many of them have tried to live heterosexual lives, tried to fit into the narrow societal norms that insist everyone must be heterosexual. The choice we do have is whether or not we will love.

Love is more than a word. Love is the expression of who we are and what we were created to be. We choose to be the embodiment of love. 

Love does not judge others because they are different. Love celebrates the uniqueness of every spirit wrapped in flesh…..  

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