My husband and I spent the weekend cleaning out the storage unit. We sorted through stacks of boxes. Some things were thrown out, others were stored in memory boxes for the kids. It’s funny the things we keep, isn’t it?
My hands touched baby clothes worn by my children and toys that tiny hands explored with fascination. Memories came flooding back; bittersweet memories of bygone days, memories marred by abuse from an ex-husband and father too focused on absolute obedience from his family to enjoy the brevity of life’s precious moments. Time passes far too quickly. The distant past seemed like yesterday, the memories so clear it felt as though I was viewing a movie of someone else’s life separate from my own, and yet, here it was, my life, for better or worse. Tears spilled down my cheeks, and my heart ached for the opportunity to reverse time and make better decisions.
It is said everything happens for a reason, and perhaps to some degree that is true. Adversity builds character and strength, and resilience is born from refining fires. The people we are today is in large part the product of yesterday’s events. The events and our responses to them determine who will rise from the ashes, and who will not. Despite lessons learned, I still fight the desire to go back and knock some sense into my younger self.
When we are in the midst of trials and tribulations, we wish them to be over. We want time to rush past difficulties and deposit us in the lush, tranquil grasses of the valley. And yet, the valley is not where we learn, we learn on the cold, desolate mountaintop.
The past is the past. For better or for worse, it is ours to embrace, to learn from, and to renew our resolve to make higher quality decisions moving forward. I don’t spend much time regretting the past because it serves no purpose. It cannot be changed or altered in any way. The past is part of who I was, who I am today, and who I will become. Life is too short to live in regret…..