Not to belabor this whole co-creating thing; well, yes I will. So, did I create the reality of abuse my kids and I lived in? The simple answer is yes, although that is definitely a hard pill to swallow, and yet a learning experience at the same time which is the purpose of all things in life. In terms of co-creating, we are either a passive or active participant; there is no middle ground. We are either aware or we are not. Obviously, I was not aware, nevertheless, the co-creating had been set in motion.
Very often our co-creating begins with limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs are those beliefs we hold to be true regardless of evidence to the contrary, or the knowledge our thoughts are not based in fact. Over time I accepted the erroneous belief I was deserving of the abuse, I was the reason it was happening, and if I could figure out what I was doing to prompt it, the abuse would stop. Unfortunately, that mindset is part of the cycle of abuse, and until one is aware of the utter nonsense of said falsehood the abuse will continue. No one ever need accept responsibility for the actions of another. Ever. Abuse is a vicious cycle. Cycles are not easily remedied, but it is to our advantage to learn as much as we can and move toward breaking the cycle.
In simplest terms, I falsely believed I deserved the abuse, and the more I accepted the falsehood, the stronger the attraction of more of the same. The Law of Attraction is a constant regardless of whether we are attracting good or not-so-good things into our lives. The Universe does not judge, does not say to itself, “well that can’t be right, I will send the opposite of the thoughts currently radiating negative energy” Positive begets positive, negative begets negative; it’s not a difficult concept to understand, but it seems to be a stumbling block for many.
Whether we know it or accept it, everything in the universe radiates positive or negative energy because everything within the universe is energy-based. In my case, the false belief I was deserving of abuse chipped away at my spirit, broke down my resolve to change the situation, and led to more thoughts I was reaping what I had sowed. Oh, wait! Isn’t that in the Bible, too? The whole sowing and reaping idea? I believe it is, so Yeshua, or Jesus, taught the Law of Attraction!
Thoughts gain momentum; the more we think a thought, the more momentum it gains. In other words, the more time given to a thought, the more energy the thought accumulates. Makes sense, right? Ever had a bad day? One of those days when a little negative event occurs, say you spill coffee on your white shirt just before leaving for work, and from the there the day continues down the slippery slide of unwelcome events? We start thinking and saying things like, “my day just keeps going down hill”, or “I should just go back to bed and start this day over because nothing is going right.” So, our response to the first event, the spilled coffee, leads to other events we perceive as wholly negative, and by the end of the day we feel like a month of Mondays occurred all in one day. Our perception of a given event or circumstance determines, to a degree, the outcome of the event or circumstance. Psychology has said that for years however, the explanation doesn’t harken as far back as our thoughts and words about the event or circumstance.
In terms of the abuse, notice I don’t say, “my abuse” because I refuse to own it, my thoughts centered around the psychological abuse flung my way on a daily, sometimes hourly, basis. I was told the abuse would stop if I was a better wife, did a better job at – fill in the blank – didn’t screw everything up, blah, blah, blah. I accepted who and what he said I was and began to see myself as if his words were true, which led to limiting beliefs, and more negative thoughts. I became what he said I was, accepted the words as truth, and acted as if they were true.
The road to ridding myself of limiting beliefs has been a journey of trial and error, learning and relearning, and continues to this day. Most of us carry around several limiting beliefs. The trick is to identify them and work toward overriding their power over our lives; also a learning process.
Are there limiting beliefs in your life that may be responsible for some of what has been co-created on your journey…..?